Cigarette Withdrawals: Turkish Gold

So tomorrow I begin smoking again. The intensity of what was afflicting me Sunday and Monday have relaxed quite a bit, though I do believe they wouldn’t end after a mere three days… But I want to start smoking again, so we’re leaving it at that.

Basically, I want to sand down my nipples, or at least pinch them all the time. I’d REALLY like them to be licked. They became sore after two days of this, though that doesn’t mean they’re not still bothering me… I’m hoping that cigarettes are the cause of this, some other random problem in my body could be coincidentally acting up, but who’s to say?
My hearts/lungs/chest have sudden lurches acting like they’re painful but only sending a message of coming pain; the pain doesn’t come–and t’s not actually painful (or maybe it’s the opposite, but my the chemicals have fucked up and masked the nerve signals)… It’s not pain but it is far from pleasure. It’s almost a feeling of nausea that makes you want to throw up, yet that sudden lurch seemed to be from inexistent vomit… It’s not too cool.
Even without the lurches, throwing up seems to come to mind a lot. It wouldn’t feel great, but it feels necessary. There is something instigating the gag reflex, right below my jaw.
I want to eat a lot, mainly because I want to suck on something.
No matter how much water I drink, I am cotton-mouthed all day. Coffee makes it worse, and fruit makes it OK for a little while, but that promptly goes away. I know I’m hydrated enough, yet the mouth is not content.
And, above all, while I really would like to smoke, this little test seems to keep me busy and happy without craving a cigarette too often. While it’s not too cool to feel nauseous and like shit all day, it’s funny because deep down I know this is the healthier way of going about the day. Yet the cigarette option tells you it’ll all be better, and you know it’s true…
Off to find someone to lick my nipples…

1 Response to “Cigarette Withdrawals: Turkish Gold”

  1. 1 sisterrene March 11, 2010 at 6:05 am

    what can I say? I’m glad you have a sense of humor when describing the strange side effects of cigarette withdrawals. My gosh! I laughed more than once.

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Another twenty some odd young adult who believes he sees things from a unique perspective. Here be my poetry & prose, short stories, favored school papers, rantings, and "blogs." Comment, critique, and profit.


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